7 Ways To Avoid Divorce Court

When it comes to making a marriage last, though many people may disagree, it is not an excruciating process. Though some may find it hard to do some of the things I am going to suggest, the outcome will be well worth the effort. And I think I can safely guarantee that if BOTH spouses really WANT to make their marriage last, these simple suggestions will make that happen.

1. Learn to say I'm sorry

Wait! Don't run away. I know this is probably the hardest one of all. Especially for most men. For some men, saying I'm sorry can be a gut wrenching experience. I'm sure it's that way for some women also. But they do seem to have an easier time of it. Saying I'm sorry can make all the difference in the world when it comes to easing the tension that an argument will cause. And, if you've done something wrong, why not admit it? It shows that you actually care about the other's feelings. And men, don't just come home the next day with flowers as your way of saying I'm sorry. They should be in addition to the words "I'm sorry". Trust me, the words will mean more than the flowers. But the flowers will mean more after the words.

2. Never let heated arguments linger

Disagreements are one thing. We have them all the time. But a heated argument does some real damage, especially when they, which they usually do, come with things said that are regrettable. And if you don't talk out these things after simmering down, it will make that regrettable thing that was said that much easier to stay etched in memory, probably causing other arguments down the line. An don't forget, when you go to bed or storm out the house without making up, you're taking the chance of that argument being the last words that you said to each other.

3. Respect each other

After many years of marriage, respect can become something of the past. You seem to not care as much for your spouse's opinion as you did when you were dating. You make decisions without consulting the other even when you know it will affect them as well. When you were dating, faults were nonexistent. Now you find it easy to lay out their faults to friends and family or whoever may me around at the time. This is a major lack of respect. Always build up your spouse when it comes to others. You don't have to lie or exaggerate about them. Just don't tear them down. There is always something positive you can find to say.

4. Observe each other

That's silly, you might say. We see each other everyday. That is true. But what I am talking about is "observing". When we observe something were usually looking to learn something about whatever it is we are observing. And this is exactly what I'm talking about. By observing our spouse without them actually knowing that we are, we can learn a lot about them. For example, if your spouse has a habit of let's say oh so slightly clearing their throat when their thirsty. If the two of you are sitting down together, maybe watching television, and you notice this and offer to get them a drink, it'll make them wonder how you knew. Or men, if your wife has a habit of rubbing her feet together, without saying a word, because they hurt after a hard days work, show her how well you know her by offering her a foot massage. Just learn to observe each other closely and you'll begin to notice things that you never knew were there.

5. Don't forget you're a couple

As the years of marriage increase, we can easily find ourselves looking to others for entertainment: hanging out with the guys from work all the time while the wife is at home with the children, wives getting involved in this social club and that one on the weekend while the husband is left tending to the yard. One or the other always heading off somewhere without the other. You may not have to spend every waking moment together, but finding time as a couple is very important when it comes to not letting a marriage get stale.

6. Be spontanious

One of the many reasons for divorce is stalemate. When one feels there is no more excitement in their lives as a married person, they may find themselves looking to recoup that excitement elsewhere. Although the lack of excitement is partly their fault, that may not be enough to keep them from seeking it out. It is so easy to become automated in a marriage after several years. But it is just as easy to break free from it. Now, because circumstances change, you may not be able to be as free as you were when you first got married. But spontaneity can still be achieved to a certain degree. If you have kids and grandparents are available, what's wrong with waking them up in the middle of the night because you just had an idea, and driving them over to grandma and grandpa while you drive fifty miles to a hotel on the beach or bed and breakfast for the weekend? It won't cost an arm and a leg and it'll be just another little spark that will keep things from dying.

7. Don't forget why you got married

Forgetting why you got married in the first place may seem like something that should never happen, but when things seem to be coming to an end, it can get lost in the shuffle of things. When we let things fester; the arguments, the simple disagreements, the apologies that were never given, it can lead to the feeling that there is no way out except for separation. Starting over with someone new may seem to be the only solution to you being happy again. Maybe it will be. But can you guarantee that? Of course not. So, before things get to that point, you need to keep reminding yourself of the things that drew you to each other in the first place, then drew you even closer to where you walked down the aisle. Continue to seek out those things in each other that you just couldn't live without, reminding yourselves how fortunate you are to have each other.

I'm sure there are many more things a couple can do to keep from giving in to divorce, if they really want to. But if these simple seven suggestions are incorporated into marriage, they can go a long way in helping.

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